Hey, hey, hey. I get it, gender identity is incredibly confusing to figure out for yourself. In terms of discovering gender identity, I'd like to say I'm a veteran, your tour guide, if you will, to common gender turmoil questions, such as "do I want to be friends with/date them or do I want to look like them?", "why do i feel like my chest doesn't fit in with this outfit?", and "why is looking in the mirror so strange and painful?" I'm here for you, and if you have the right friends and life partners, so are they. I want to establish before giving my unasked advice that I am not a professional; I'm a psych major (to be) and the only credentials I have is that middle school was rough for me and I figured out who I am. Now, I want to help my baby trans friends figure it out too! So let's get down to business... every single person experiences gender differently; there is no right and wrong way to express yourself or identify. I am a trans man. My experience is being masculine my entire life and hating pink because I thought that's what made me a girl. Then I hit middle school and found Jamie Raines on youtube (check him out he helped me tons). I decided to start small: I already was dressing as masculine as I could (a privilege I am grateful for) and I chose my most trusted friend and said, "would you be cool with calling me Phynn and using he/him pronouns on the down low?" It.felt.GREAT. But there were troubling times; I second guessed myself constantly and accused myself of doing it for attention. At the end of the day, I couldn't stand hearing someone refer to me as a "young lady", so it was time to come out. Not everyone has this experience; I'm not even sure I've gotten my identity down yet, but what I do know is that through coming out, I've become more comfortable with my feminine side. Pink is a GREAT color and it deserves more hype. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what label you choose if you feel like YOU. If you can look in the mirror and at least sometimes feel validated by what you see, you've nailed it, kid. You've officially made gender roles your b.i.c.t.h (I love you if you understand that reference). You have been taught your whole life to act one way, dress one way for others' comfort and you chose YOU. Your comfort, your happiness, the expression of your awesomeness is more important than what some 50 year old lady at the grocery store thinks. Who's the boss now? Oh wait - it's you. Do you and figure out the labels later.
0 Comments
|
Phynn R.Your friendly neighborhood trans guy here to make your inner gender turmoil a little better :) ArchivesCategories |